Exodus: Gods And Kings

Ridley 'Diddley' Scott does epic. Like proper Biblical epic like he's eaten the ghost of Cecil B. DeMille or something. But why the subtitle? Given that Judaic scripture forms part of most of the major religions of the world to some extent or other does the story of Exodus need subtitling? Are we likely to expect it to be a biopic of Bob Marley without the addendum 'Gods and Kings'?

The soundtrack is entirely lacking in skanking guitars but replete with often solitary violins propping up Christian Bale's strange accent whenever we might be in danger of wondering why a Welshman has been cast to play a Middle Eastern man. Or when Egyptians mingled with Australians to cast Pharoahs.

Whitewashing is, of course, a Hollywood tradition. Just ask Scarlett Johannson. And Al Jolson.

Anyhoop, the casting is the least of this film's problems. When an atheist willingly directs a movie depicting one of the seminal tales from the Old Testament then takes liberties with the original text it's a safe bet that large numbers of the potential audience will find fault with the result. As will non-religious viewers who were hoping for something less creaky with better dialogue and fewer holes in the plot.

Marauding crocodiles gets the best of the action, all scenes with chariot in them smack of desperately trying not to evoke Ben Hur, there is actually only one god represented - contrary to the superfluous subtitle - and he's portrayed as a somewhat stroppy pre-adolescent whom only Moses can see. It's hardly in the same league as Blade Runner, is it Ridley?

I do hope nobody decides to butcher the story of Noah in this cavalier fashion just to make cinema seem deep and meaningful. Oh wait, Aronofsky already has.