Iron Man 3

Iron Man is dead. Again. Officially. Because of that bloke from Neighbours who was in Memento. And that woman who played Lynne Frederick in Frost/Nixon. Her botanical shenanigans and his evil nemesis master skills combine to create a loopy, loopy scenario in which the disabled can grow back amputated limbs. It's not all fun, they also sort of become human bombs.

To cover for the early mistakes in research and the explodey consequences that bloke from Neighbours creates a phantom terrorist overlord, using that British guy who played Gandhi who in this film isn't playing Gandhi, he's a slobby actor.

Tony Stark isn't dead. Obviously. Because of his brilliant Iron Man suit. Suits. Plural. Oh, he was already doing that in Two. Anyway. He is miles from his now blown up home and his brilliant Iron Man suit needs serious repair work. He sneaks into a kid's barn, grooms the kid and is arrested by the authorities. No, hang on, that's Jim'll Man 3. He sneaks into the barn, befriends the kid and together they learn stuff. Like the stuff I've already told you about the blowy uppy tendencies of the new limb gang.

Oops, that bloke from Neighbours has kidnapped Pepper Potts. Ha ha. It's a joke name. Get it? Well if you haven't got it after forty odd years of graphic novels and three movies then you're not much of a giggler, are you? He also kills the Lynne Frederick woman and wants to do another murdery thing to the chap playing the President (character names aren't all jokes so I'm not bothered about them that much). To prove his evilness. Again. As if we didn't know. We knew, didn't we? We bloody knew.

And it all kicks off at the end with many Iron Man suits plus War Machine (or the neutering rename, Iron Patriot), plus Tony, and eventually plus an almost explodey Pepper combining to beat the living fuckery out of Neighbours bloke. Couldn't happen to a more horrid bloke from Neighbours. Although he was actually quite nice in Neighbours. Remember? And he didn't release a cash-in pop single which is another reason to love him. Except when he's in Iron Man 3. Loathe him and be glad he's dead.

As ever the Stark character is tailor-made for Robert Downey Jr. Sardonic, laconic, a lush, a little louche, and yet someone who always wins through in the end. I get confused with the Marvel universe chronology; was Captain America: Civil War after this film? This one seems like a swan song for Downey but if he's donned the suit again for purposes of Avengering then he could continue clanking across our screens for some time to come. No argument from me. Even though this movie is more percussive than substantial.